we talked the length of a feature film
Byproduct*8
At that very mediocre phase as a squeaky break between the highs and the lows, breaking my own laws. Loving it. Panting. Predictability of parenting without risk. Doctors without frontiers. Having to write a healing practice on the pages of a passport, however much text that takes in. To create a patchwork of risks is not risky at all. Mildly calculated. No bikes. Comfortable cars. Home-cooked meals, no risk. If not an artist, no risk. No friends is no risk. But self-made publications, copywriting, And English, a small town, fights and melodrama, fear of losing people. Fear of gaining weight, or width, as to how much space you can take up. Fear of understanding your parents. And with that, fear of gaining them, finally.
New year, gliding through the earth!
Dear Maria, Did you know that I love your name? I love your name more than anything. Your name as a frame for everything else that came without a name. In all honesty, I see so much of myself in you, it feels controllable - as the second next thing I love about you. And that I'm able to make you cry. That you would also go to the extremest extents at self-destruction for something that is purely supposed to be for fun. In all honesty, I'd need that rug back one day Maria.
Overlooking the fences, not wall, the see-through fences, as buy-one get-one for free.
As in, impatience.
As in, time as the only thing to make you trust in it.
As in, patience.
As in, the sauna is mixed on the weekends and until 2 pm on weekdays only for ladies.
As in, l'm not supposed to be here.
As in, I am here,
As in, wait.
As in, wait and see.
That lost thing we spoke of yesterday?
Well, it will be discovered, never fear, (1)
hidden as if it is reserved only for a few,
and you sound happy to be one of them.
As for you were purely born to be of the few,
making of you all the more,
and actually not taking away that much the very least.
Be happy.(1) Ed Atkins
Real-time heartbreak on screen. Real-time tendency. Well now you know it.
As in, our jargon history.
Maybe one of us is still joking.
As in, I got here a while ago but it took me two months to do something about the illusion.
Maybe let your friends title your things?
As in, something denied in the throat.
Beautiful toys and story books only live in our memories. yes and in our Google search history.
No one even proposed yet we got engaged. The price of legos is irreplaceable these days. Damn it.
As in life: off-screen.
And a hand is still a hand even if it breaks into fingers.
The orchestra might start a song from scratch but it can never pretend to not have played it initially with a few off sounds. Drums as will, as intent. You seem happy to be of the few. And how similarly the brain holds the score. But I'm sure there is still another undiscovered organ. Too much happening all at once is nothing nothing ever happened. I will remember you glancing over your shoulder gazing at the world so sourly, playing the drums for me.
