So we moved our dance shoes ever so slowly to the rhythm of nothing.
How long should I look at the world before I go home?1
It’s a truthful lie - like a family on a Sunday or the honeymoon phase of Love.
I say I’m not waiting for you but I am. I am out of breath waiting for you.
The white noise out here is very tempting to be made a claim upon.
Or try to be assertive in the face of everything we don’t know but assume.
No furniture ever gets used for why they’re bought.
Words left unattended might chase after you. Otherwise we would hardly speak. Think about it. Or don’t.
What kept us away from death was speaking.
And to remain indifferent. No, to actually know the difference between a lot of things.
To know the difference and to do barely anything about it. Apart from walking.
Away or towards. Or until the time comes. Whisper until then.
Whisper even until later.
I wonder whether he knows what he wants at all.
I wonder what happened to my clothes I put aside for donation.
I wonder what happened to you and me.
But I wonder if there was a better chance. I wonder even if there was whether we would take it. I wonder whether it is really me asking these questions.
The average person lives with so little out of fear of being opinionated
or forgiving.
We miss all the birthdays and the weddings.
The day we stop receiving invites is the day on the calendar we start asking,
can I be this person?
Then yes glides out of the mouth as if to say it for the first time ever.
A newborn eager to talk only to be able to participate in the rest of the world,
the confused rest of us,
and no one stops her.
No one warns her about what will come next after the first word.
Because no one really knows a life with no sentence to live by.
No one really knows a life without yesterday or tomorrow.
There are doctors, speech therapists, sign language professors walking among us, today.
Do you know what you want?
Crows understand me.
This isn’t a song on a loop.
This is the mundane spectacle called truth
and I am spending a calendar lifetime understanding how I’ve learned about it
to bounce it back to you.2
Alex Dimitrov, Lines For People After The Party